Where To?

On a somewhat more serious note…

I have been thinking, a lot, about where we go from here.

I think at this point, I'd be exceptionally silly if I ever thought again that you don't want me around.

Arguably, that should have already been the case. But this situation… It's so, so difficult to know what's in another person's heart when the very rules of our society prevent them from revealing it.

And we're both sticklers for the rules, aren't we?

But I think you managed to land on a way to show me, without really breaking the rules… Stretched them pretty thin, mind you, but… not broken.

And, yes, any doubts I may have somehow still had about your feelings toward me have been handily eradicated.

But I still don't have any idea of how you want to proceed, of where to go from here. Do you want to just carry on as we have, trying to find ways to spend time together here and there? Do you want me to step up, move from asking the void if we can have coffee and actually ask you out to coffee? Or is that too much, too soon?

Arguably, there's only one way to find out.

Part of me wants to just see how these next two nights out with you go. We won't be alone, but we will be together.

Part of me wants to strike while the iron is hot.

All of me is conflicted. I know what I want. And now I know it's almost certainly within my grasp, if I just play my cards right…

Problem is, I suck at cards.

But, you know what? I have faith in us. I have faith in our love. It might take us a while to get there. There will definitely be obstacles. ("Shelob and Balrog", as I mentioned once in a letter long ago… I didn't even know yet that your were a LOTR fan, yet somehow I suspected the reference wouldn't be lost on you…) Some of those obstacles might seem almost insurmountable.

But we will figure them out, my love. I know we will. A love like this… I can't even conceive of a universe that could keep us apart.

Even if we make some mistakes along the way. Stupidly park our cars exactly so that there's an obstacle between us, but not notice until it's too late. And probably bigger things.

But we'll get there.

Our journey is only just beginning, my love. But I already know it will be worth it.

I love you.

Yours,
♒️